The Big Brother of Fate

I wanted it... For so long I wanted, I wished, I searched...

The universe then just slapped me around, laughed as if I was the main character in it's own private show....

The Big Brother of Fate!

As despair and desperateness numbed my soul, a sense of peaceful calm settled in my heart... and then I was free!

I was expeled from the show!

No more looking, no more wishing, no more searching! Free to just be...

Friends, family, sunsets, trips and night outs... I built my circle of oblivious bliss!

I didn't want it! I didn't want, nor wished nor searched...

The universe then just slapped me a bit more around, I swear I could hear it laugh...

The Big Brother of Fate again!

My veins felt awake, as if I was bleeding from within! Every cell trying to break free from my body, every inch aching...

The rush, the unsettledness, the butterflies, the clichés! It all came swirling back as if I was struck by lightning... And in a way I was!

I was suddendly reborn to a world I had long forgotten and denied!

Readmited on the show... I didn't even aplly!

My mind was aware of the consequences... Painful, atrocious, dreadful consequences!

My heart was aware of the consequences...Gratifying, rapturous, pleasurable consequences!

I caught myself torn... Good and evil, right and wrong, yes and no... The usual dichotomies reduced into mush!

In the past, I rellied on either reason or emotion... I couldn't anymore...

A whole new twist on the Big Brother of Fate!

Nothing makes sense... Everything is exciting, exhilarating, terrifying...Everything is anew!

I hadn't lost hope... I had discarded it! And it came crawling out of the trash, lodged itself under my skin...

All of me itching, craving, yearning for more, and more, and more of you!

It is tough to be on display at the Big Brother of Fate... But it's all worth it, since it led me to this moment!

It is all worth it, since it led me to you!